I've been at this awhile

I seemed to have been walking on this road waiting for the inevitable heart breaking disaster. I've been on it since 1990, well, actually since I was born but I think it became appearent around 1990. And it came into reality in 2004.

Funny thing about it though, when you accept the inevitable, that inevitable disaster that could happen any moment or a year, or a decade from now, somehow the load seems to be lifted a bit. The disaster seems to loose it's power.

Note for today

It really is that we can not and will never get back together. I have to
hold that idea close and hang on to it with every last fiber of my
constitution.

I still feel like a child. I am still a child.