Thursday, October 18, 2007

The Wake




You know how a boat makes waves in the water. I think that's a pretty good metaphore for what I am experiencing now.

I believe my ex- is moving on and I mean moving on with someone else. This is kind of like the final blow of reality that our relationship as a couple, as lovers, as confidants, as partners, as friends is over.

My wife started liking baseball when the Colorado Rockies Baseball team came into being. I kinda like it and I kinda got into the games and stats with her. Together we would go to a game occasionally or we would listen to them on the radio. Sometimes we would even watch them on TV. Interestingly the Rockies are going to the "big dance" this year. In order to get there, they beat the Arizona diamond backs. I live in Arizona now.

The Cleveland Indians are playing Boston for the American league championship. If the Indians win the series and the championship then they will be going to the fall classic as well. I am from Cleveland.

I don't really believe in any sybollogy about whether the Indians and the Rockies are pitted against one another but I do know that having the Rockies in the world series beating the diamond backs and then possibly playing the indians keeps her upfront and center in my head.

So my memories of baseball with her over the years is like a wave that has traveled through the years from 1990s to meet me here in 2007 and wash over me.

Every reminder.... And here, the coinsidence is just to big. It's like life is saying, "See this is what was and it's gone now!!!! It's over you fucking looser. It's over." And I will bet the Rockies Spank the Indians in a big fucking way.

Anyway I still have to say "Go Indians!" and oh yes I know the last sentence in the last paragraph is a bunch of horseshit.

The other thing about the wake is that a wake is what you have after a funeral.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

The leaves are changing

I just got back
from seeing her face
It was as I remembered
It was everything I remembered loosing
and more.