Thursday, April 17, 2008

me


At around 11:30 pm on my 42nd birthday I found myself in a deserted metro station somewhere in the middle of Prague in the Czech Republic. I was trying to get to the old town square. Without knowing a lick of Czech I somehow managed to figure out the fair schedule and navigate my way from one subway to another until I miraculously ended up a few streets down from the square. I walked up the narrow cobble stone street to find a nondescript door in the side of a building. It was only by accident that I found it. Above it a small sign read “U tøí bubnù” (House of the Three Drums – loses a little in translation.) I knocked on the door and an older gentleman answered. In a thick Czech accent and broken English he said “You must be the American. Please come in.” I showed him my passport, gave him my credit card and after a couple of attempts to politely understand one another, I followed him up the narrow stairs to my room. It was 2:00 am. Aside from the trepidation and fear that night, I also felt a sense of exhilaration as I went to sleep. In the morning I awoke to the most beautiful city I have ever seen.

I still have no idea which train station I arrived at in Prague that night. All I knew when I got off the train was that I had to figure how to get to the “U tøí bubnù” without knowing the language. Just one year prior I found myself in a very similar situation. I came to the end of my marriage and found I had no idea where I was in life or how to speak the language. The last two plus years I have been trying to figure out the fair schedules and navigate my way from subway stop to subway stop.

These “subway stops” have amounted to a series of discoveries about me. Among these discoveries is that I love to be creative which is in sharp contrast with my profession – from photography to abstract drawing to making decorative boxes with my laser engraver (http://godbox.sybillus.com). I have also discovered that I love to travel. I have only been to Europe once but would like to go back, and I go to Mexico periodically with a friend who has a house on a quiet little peninsula on the Sea of Cortez. I like the idea of heading out with no real destination in mind and I have recently been rekindling an interest in hiking and backpacking.

This certainly is not where I expected to be at 44, however I have come to a place in my life of acceptance. I find that when I have little expectation (neither high nor low) of how “things” will, or ought, to be, my life seems to go way better than I could imagine. Continuing with the traveling analogy; you might say that I went completely off the map, that for the last two years I have been getting my bearings again, and that I would like to start traveling with a companion again.

I do have three wonderful boys who I love very much. You can see them if you visit the website above. They live with their mother in Boulder and I visit them at least four times a year.

I am not looking for someone to complete me; I am looking for someone with whom to share life’s experiences. If you are grammatically critiquing this profile, we probably would not be a good match. However, you are a great match for me if you are more interested in the adventure of the journey than the destination. You think outside the box and can be unconventional. You have a love for music…all kinds. You are not too concerned with material things or your social status. You have a sense of humor and you find humor in everything. You like the outdoors, but you clean up nice. You take care of yourself, but you are not obsessive-compulsive about it. You’re spiritual, but not religious. Your spirituality is private and you don’t need others to agree with your beliefs. You have conviction in your spiritual and political beliefs but you respect the beliefs of others. Although you have opinions you try not to judge. I say “try” because that is a tall order. You are human and make mistakes and appreciate and understand that in others.