Epilogue to Jenna

A couple of months ago I got a call from Jenna.  She told me she was back in town. . . Apparently, she had left.  She had talked about wanting to go to Boston.  I figured she had move but did not know for sure.  I really didn't care.  The thing about Marcia and Jenna is that after I dismissed them from my life I was able to forget about them.  Anyway I get this call and it's from Jenna telling me she is back in town and that I am all she can think about.  (Seriously - like are you fucking kidding me!?)  I called her back and got her voicemail but did not leave a message.   I called her back about four hours later and told her I was on my way out of town as I was heading up to Boulder and said in my most casual tone, "Have a good one."  And of course I never did hear from her.

Jenna - Sociopathic behavior

I hate being blind sided.

Last week when I was driving back from and when I got back from Colorado  I was texting Victoria.  When we were together on that Saturday things kind of went quickly or rather our conversation went quickly to us being more than just friends.  It went to sex.

This is the same thing that happened with Jenna.  Jenna is Frank's Daughter.  Frank was probably one of the best friends I have ever had in my life.  Frank passed in 2012.  Jenna reconnected with him right before he passed.  I got to know her a little bit then.

About 6 months after Wendy passed, I saw her at the grocery store.  We talked for quite a while there and she said all these wonderful things about me.  We made plans to meet later that week so we did.  We went for a walk and then back to her place.  The conversation quickly went to us being more than just friends.

And so I bit.  I have to say things seemed a bit off.  She gave me a tour of her apt and showed me the spare bedroom and said, "This is where you would sleep!?"  I really thought something would happen between her and I.  So much so that I went for one of my hikes up Elden and took a picture up there and texted it to her.  And when I didn't hear anything for a couple of days I freaked out.  I went over JD's house and totally broke down.  I felt that if I had gone back to my house I would just drive into the garage shut the door behind me with car still running.

After that I got a bit more guarded.  Things did seem a bit off.  She was a bit over the top with compliments and accolades.  Her not texting me happened a number of times.  It seemed very incongruent the way she would really up-talk me and then seemingly disregard my texts.  I was actually getting better responses from my ex-wife than her.  It really felt like there was something going on.

She did say she wanted to keep it at friends but wanted to work toward a deeper relationship.  She came over and watched some movies with me.  I even got a big screen TV from JD which I don't use.

She asked if she could barrow my car to go to the Grand Canyon for a job interview.  I didn't see a problem with it.  After all it was a 2000 Toyota Minivan.   She got this little spongy stress reliever "star" thingy from her interview and gave it to me.  I was going up to Boulder that following weekend and told her I was climbing a mountain called Bear Peak.  She asked me to take a selfie with me and star at the top of the mountain.  I did and never heard anything back.

We had planned to watch another movie the Sunday after I got back but she texted and asked if we could meet at a bookstore instead saying nothing about the picture I sent her.  We met and talked a little bit and parted.  I texted her a couple days after that and never heard from her again.  I did see it coming and although I was a little hurt over it I was able to let it go with quite a lot of ease.

Among the conversations we had she talked about how horrible her ex-husband was.  I was actually warned about her by a couple people.  My friend Stormie told me she had seen her at a grocery store with her ex-husband during the time we were meeting each other.

Yes, something was going on and the best I could figure was that she was trying to make her ex-husband (I question that now) jealous.  Yes being used feels kind of bad but I was able let it go quickly.  Very quickly in the relationship (if you want to call it that) I stopped taking it seriously.

The partner/companion I would like

is a female!
is pretty and/or cute
has good hygiene
takes care of herself - physically and mentally
is neat but not a neat freak
is healthy
can eat a wide variety of foods.
does not care what I eat.
likes to have sex
has a good income.
likes all kinds of music except rap and the newer country.
does not want to have kids
is younger and/or not much older than me - 3 years max
can be much younger
is available
(Okay this is really shallow but can be somewhat overweight but must have the "upper body parts" to match.  Yes Yes I know.)

is smart
has a sense of humor
has opinions but not opinionated
Is okay with my opinions
can/wants to communicate honestly

is self aware or at least working on it.
is thoughtful/mindful
takes responsibility for herself
is monogamous
is interested in me
is caring
tries to stay positive or is positive - helps me stay positive.
lets the kid come out and play but under adult supervision

has no major addictions or in program or understands the 12 steps
is a non-smoker

nice to have but aren't necessary
     likes hiking, camping, would go up some or all of the mountains with me.
     lives in Flag - if not in flag would consider relocating.
     would like me to knit socks for her
     likes to travel.

The Sunday Night Girl and Monika

returned to the Sunday night meeting last night.

She mentioned me a couple of times in her share.  She also talked to me after the meeting and  said that because I was still going that she would start coming back. -  yeah right.

Victoria - going to crazy town?

I don't think she has shown up in this blog yet.  Victoria.  I know her from high school mostly but I was in grade school with her as well.  We both went to Valley View Elementary.   We have been communicating through face book for about a year.  She invited me to be friends last year around this time.  I didn't think too much of it.  I was primarily communicating with Kelli Curtis at the time.  I remember I posted something about knitting on something she (Kelli) had posted.  A couple of minutes after that I got a friend request from Victoria.

A number of weeks later I posted something about The Four Agreements that the book had changed my life and around Eleven O'clock at night I got a comment from her that said, "Mine too."  That was kind of the beginning.

So over the year off and on, mostly off though, I would be kind of communicating back and forth with her.  Probably around the beginning of the year I became some what hooked on our communication and then around March it stopped.  It is wierd it stopped right along with Kelli Curtis's "missives"   I would post stuff and neither of them would "like" or comment.  That is when I "went off" facebook.

I went back on Facebook around the time of the reunion.  Kelli sort of  started communicating with me again.  I think Victoria would comment on my stuff when ever I would climb but there did not seem to be much there.  So I am a bit perplexed.

I like writing scenes from books

Just then she vaguely remembered him saying he had a cornea transplant and how that seemed to raise concern but then the possible significance of the information vanished and she went back to asking him more questions to which she already knew the answers.  Why had he had a cornea transplant or was there more to it.

As they climbed he seemed to start exhibiting a little more deftness and agility.  These moves clearly weren't the moves of an amateur, she thought,  not the moves of some one who had only done 12 of the 54 14ers.  But yet they weren't the moves generally associated with some one skilled at climbing or mountaineering.  It felt to her as though she was watching someone skilled a martial arts.  And then it hit her, they had not done their research well enough on this mark.

Meanwhile Clark was hiking, no running up the east ridge of the mountain.  As he ran he ran through the images in his head of how the accident was going to take place.

Wow, you are really good at this, she said. And you've only done 12 mountains and just 9 of them last year.   Where did you learn all this?

Oh, this, well, I am just applying some good ol' fashion Judo moves I learned when I was in the Seals.

Holy shit, you gotta fucking be kidding me! she said in true alarm.

Her reaction caught him off guard.  It was more of a reaction like she had just fucked up big time.

So'd you ever see any action.

All the time.  I didn't go into the fuckin' corp to sit behind a desk.

You ever kill anyone.

I don't know maybe a couple a hundred combatants I guess.  If you count, placed explosives then the number goes way up but hand to hand combat and ambushes I'd say a couple hundred.  Never really counted or kept score.  No need to, I'm breathing and ambulatory - no score to keep.

So you ambushed the enemy.

No those kills came to those who ambushed me.    It's funny people think because I am short I am an easy target.  Fact is  is that that shortness gives me an advantage like nothing else.

Clark had just landed his two feet on the summit of the mountain.  They were class 4 scrambling the wall 200 feet below.

So you know,  I mean I am just sayin' your boyfriend only has, oh shit I don't know, only a couple maybe say 500 to a thousand breaths left in him.  He may have done all these 14ers and climbed everest and all but the dude's dead.   I really gotta say didn't see it comin until like 15 minutes ago.  I honestly don't know what tipped me.  For some fucking strange reason I know he just summited this thing and is waiting up there.  And I can actually visualize the moves I need to make to get him started down the mountain.  It'll be a fuckin accident.  Just like on Capitol.  Two lovers just took the wrong fuckin way down.

And then in a very genuine appologetic way he said, I am sorry.  I mean really. Shit if I had known I would have shut things down between you and me but I didn't see it coming.  Now you two gotta die.  You guys are just doin.  . . .  there was a bit of a pause,  well what you do.  I mean you don't know anything else.   But I can tell you when you see what I do to your boyfriend you will be wholly impressed.

The two continued to scramble up the rocks him talking as if he is just recounting an old climbing story with his climbing partner.

I mean the training and experience that I've been through is really incredible.  It really is like, like  he searched for the word.  Like ballet when I am in the zone you know.   I have been in situations where I am actually saving someone or a group of people and afterwards it's like I am a fucking rock star.

They stopped to breath a while.  He could now hear the boyfriend pacing around at the top.  She couldn't.

I mean it is a real aphrodisiac for women.  I always get laid after something like that.  I am good.  I mean really.  Oh yeah,  I've seen you checking out descending.  If you do I'll help your descent with some rocks you know.   That's incredible you guys were just going to see if you could get away with it.  Boy did you pick the wrong guy.  I mean seriously of all the people in the fucking world.

Two big rocks came over the edge one directly at him and the other a larger one at her.  He looked down and the surprise on her face was genuine and the shock paralyzed her never-the-less her screamed bounced off the mountain walls and out into the fog.

My knee and flat tire.

Just a quick note.  I am feeling some pain again on the inside of my right knee.

I also had a flat tire this morning - noticed it when I got to work

seating arrangements at work:

For the record, I am moving back to the building that I came from.   That is the building where this blog was started.  I was pretty messed up then.  Sometimes I still feel that messed up.  I will be sitting in the same general area; probably only about 6 feet from where I used to sit.

10 true things 09/10/2017

1.)  Making an attempt to knit again - want to knit some socks for Sheila.  It would be nice to give them to her on her birthday.  . . . to cheer her up.  This of course means I have twenty days to knit a pair of socks.  Actually less than that because I need to ship them.

2.)  I am way to pissed off about political shit.  I gotta stop.  Seriously.

3.)  I got a rash that seems to be going away but it wasn't.  Kinda worried about it.  Is it a virus?  I gotta stop.

4.)  I went to dunking donuts this morning and got 3 chocolate cream filled donuts.  I love those.  I gotta stop.

5.)  Brought out my guitar yesterday and started playing.

6.) Today is Adam's birthday.  I called him.

7.)  I am anxious about the quasi-date I am going on next Saturday.  Mostly what I am worried about is that she will cancel out or stand me up.

8.)  It looks like it might rain today

9.)  I bought an audio book yesterday, called I am legion - bobiverse book 1.  Listened to it while I started knitting.

10.)  Just made myself some spaghetti with mild Italian sausage.

11 and 12 were like to much information.

13.)  I am thinking the last 2 items were not quite what you expected.   SURPRISE!  Anyway by my account, I am still sober.
14.)  Was going to hike today but I don't think I will.  I will knit and listen to my book and try not to eat.

15.)  So number 15 on my 10 true things list is that I do not like being corrected unsolicited.  For instance, I make some sort of statement, could be right, could be wrong, but my office mate will invariably chime in with, "Actually,. . ."  and then proceed to say the opposite of what I just said.  For instance, I said that I had a caffiene head ache and was talking about how caffeine is a vaso-constrictor.  He then says, "Actually, caffeine dialates your blood vessels."

caffeine headache cause

Well actually David, it doesn't.  But I am just getting my information from specious sources like WebMD,  American Journal of Medicine,  The Harvard Medical Newsletter.

Okay, I'm done.

Viewpoint Diversity

Now there's a new term.  Just learned this on this morning.

It would appear that higher education is being turned upside down.  We are entering a period where freedom of speech is in jeopardy.  Ironically it is starting at the very place where freedom of speech is supposed to be held sacred, the university.

I don't think Nazi is the appropriate term here because, the term Nazi refers to a political ideology that deterred free speech under Adolf Hitler just like the communist ideology in Russia that deterred free speech under Stalin.  I think Orwell my have the proper terminology in his book Animal Farm - that term would be "Pig"  It is the pigs that with the best intentions vie for change with freedom and equality being the goal.  However, in achieving the goal it is the pigs that ultimately claim to be "more equal" than the other animals and thus squash free speech or any other activities that may threaten their leadership or existence.  "If you are challenging a proposition that I hold dear then you are invalidating my existence."  Therefore you must be suppressed/oppressed.

Basically, pigs primarily refers to the SJW's and in general the alt-left.  And of course it goes without saying that pigs refers to the alt-right as well.  It also refers to most and probably all religions.  Anybody that does not want you to have a voice because of what you think or believe is a pig.  An example would be Melissa Click, Joseph Stalin, and Adolf Hitler.  (I think Adolf may have been envious or jealous of Joseph.)

So, in summary, viewpoint diversity is discouraged in today's universities.  The pigs are in charge.

That's about all.



Peace Out.

50 Shades of Gray - Fun fact.

One of the coolest things I just became aware of is the book, 50 Shades of Gray, is one of the most wildly popular books of all time.  It appears to be a story about a man who sexually takes advantage of a young college graduate and BDSM is the flavor of the man's sexual tastes.  It appears that at then end of the book the guy has to beat her for her to understand that they are not compatible?  Being the fourth-highest-grossing R-rated film of all-time it was released in 2015.  Here's the fun fact.  The popularity of this story about a man dominating a woman physically and sexually happens at roughly the same time as Donald Trump is running for the presidency of the United States.  This book and the movie are mega phenomena during a time of "moral outrage" against a so called "misogynistic" presidential candidate who grabs women by their pussies.

Jordan Peterson observed and noted the inconsistency:

Yeah, I don't understand it either.

Dear Roger Waters, please go start a war in your own fucking country.

I do, despite the way this letter is going to read, have a tremendous amount of respect for you.  In fact, if it weren't for you I would probably be a flaming conservative fascist asshat.

You are a genius.  You fucking bloody well know it.  Which, of course makes you arrogant.  But I gotta say you have the right to be.  There is no doubt that you were the brains behind the concept albums of Pink Floyd.  The lyrics, the messages, the poetry will be regarded as classic like that of Shakespeare.  I mean, dude, you left your mark on the consciousness of humanity.  So I am going to be really tactful here.

My problem is, is that the lyrics that you write don't seem to be all that congruent with your actions.  Ironically enough, your lyrics seem to be quite congruent with the actions of your counter part in Pink Floyd.

So when Trump got elected and you came out with your fist raised in the air and yelled, "Resist";  I am wondering what the fuck that meant.  I mean is it time to take up arms?  Is it a call to find out who these fuckers were that voted for Trump and well, invoke the final solution.  That's kind of what it looked like to me.  Do we spill blood at this point.

Being a resident of the country, it has been my experience that his time will pass just like Obama's did.  I applaud you on incorporating "Trump is a Pig" in your show.  I applaud you on voicing how much you hate Trump.  In this country you can say things like that.  You can say them loud.  Put those words in big ass fucking lights.  We call this Freedom of Speech.  Thank you for exercising it.

However, the "Resist" part, seriously, what the fuck does that mean.  If it is a call to violence for the Anti Trump people to fight the Trump people.  . . . It is almost like:

Anti Trump = Us

Trump = Them

I mean after all aren't we just ordinary men.   Maybe you could write a song about that concept except I don't think you really get it.  And if you did you better watch it. Don't end that second line with "men" because you will totally piss off the women and all the other millions of gender identities out there.  I know you totally wouldn't want to fucking do that.  (I am not being sarcastic with that last statement.)

It is almost like:

You're either for us or against us.

What thfuck!  You're fucking British aren't you?  You didn't even vote in this election and yet here you are in my fucking country inciting violence.  The issue will get solved at the polls and don't gimme this load of crap about our fucking electoral college and popular vote shit either.  We elected Obama twice with that system. Hmmm. didn't seem to be a problem then now did it?  This is exactly why the fuck we had to revolt against the British and become our own country.  You guys lost your say so 241 years ago - just sayin'

I have friends that are trump supporters and friends that hate trump just as much if not more than you do - hell, they are even residents of this country.  Yet, both groups are my friends!  None of them are stupid. None of them are racist.  And none of them want to have a civil war over it.

Could you please go the fuck back to the UK and incite a civil war there.  Seriously dude.  

Yeah, I am being harsh because I do not want to go to war with my dear friends because some asshat that isn't even a U.S. citizen is inciting the country to do so.  You are just as bad as the fucking media.  Ya know.  this kinda doesn't even concern you.  It's kinda like none of your fucking business.  jesus fucking christ.

You know?  David strikes me as the embodiment of love and unity.  You strike me as the embodiment of hate and divisiveness.  How fucking ironic.  I choose love and unity.  Think about it.  Wonder how this would have read if I weren't tactful.

Should I contact this girl or not?

Not sure whether to contact her or not.

Oh by the way, I finally made it up Little Bear.

So, I created another account and another blog.  Yes another blog.  That blog and account breaks all ties with this one or any of the other blogs I have.

Okay, so I do feel like I am kind of stalking her.  But, no I am not.  I am just reading her fucking blog is all.  She doesn't write for quite some time and then she does.  She did two times fairly close together recently so I was going to comment on the last thing she wrote using the other account of course but alas I chickened out.  I am wondering if that would just freak her out and then she would either stop blogging or block me.  You know, nobody reads this blog.  I often think if somebody was reading this.  I would be encouraged to write more.

So she is writing about the stuff that troubles her.  She appears not to be too happy in her marriage.  Have no idea if she is married to the same guy she was 12 years ago.  I really do not want to interfere in that relationship again or in any relationship of her's for that matter.  I don't have any intention of meeting her.  It would just be nice to lament about life together.

Like I am doing with Sheila.