Three Years Ago Today

Three years ago today

It was three years ago today Carrie asked if we could be "more than just friends."  We had just got done watching "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind."  I sat in the rocker and she sat on the couch.  It was something we decided to do as friends.  I had come over to do landscaping in the front yard. We were going to watch the movie and then I was going to do the landscaping.

However, after the movie was over she said there was something she needed to tell me.  I thought she was going to tell me that we shouldn't be watching a movie together like this and I should get out there and do the landscaping and in fact I don't even think it is a good idea that you are doing the landscaping.  I want you to leave and I do not want to see you at the Saturday night meeting anymore.

I actually tried to preempt her and tell her that, "Yeah I know I need to be out there doing the landscaping this was nice and everything but I'll go now.  There was a lot more that I said but she kind of cut me off and said, "I probably shouldn't be asking you this and I know I am breaking the rules but would you be interested in being more than just friends."  At the time, we were and still are attending Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.  We both had been attending the meeting for four years and three days - but who was counting.  In the opening it says, "This is not a place to meet sexual or emotional partners."  When she asked me if I wanted to be more than just friends she was prepared to give up the meeting.  It turns out her birthday is also on the 14th of September.

I was dumbfounded.  The idea of her and I being in a relationship was taboo.  In fact, I wouldn't even acknowledge that I was attracted to her.  I don't refer to her in this blog until a year after we have been together.   The notion just seemed so far out of reach it was ludicrous.  It was about a year prior to us getting together that I did start acknowledgeing to friends that I kind of had a crush on her.  That was probably in the fall of 2007.  I wasn't really writing much in this blog.  My last entry was in Oct of 2007 I think.  I only put in eleven entries in 2008 the last one being in June which was two and half months before the "big day."

I had been on match dot com and oh God did that ever suck.  I just couldn't see my way to being with any of the women on there.  I talked with a couple prospects over the phone, set up times to meet, but  both canceled at the last minute.  I was grateful.  I always kept coming back to Carrie - the woman that was off limits.  I would talk to Frank about her.  I would talk with Jay about her and I would talk with JD about her.

During the fall of 2007 she was working down south and there was this guy that was making "lots" of appointments.  Carrie is an NP by the way.  This guy became known as "Alaska Guy" because he lived in Alaska at various times during the year.  He made a number of overtures to her, would bring in baked goods for her and the staff and finally asked her out on a date I think.  Carrie told him that she would have to "not see him professionally" for at least six months before she would consider going out with him.  He did this and on the first day after the six month wait he called her.  There was some kind of wierd interaction and Carrie called me about this interaction to see how she should interperet it.  This would have been around May of '07.  This also would have been my oportune time to say, "You need to get away from this guy!  He is bad news!  You should spend more time with me!" and so on and so forth.  Instead I told her that the behavior was, in fact, wierd but he may be just trying to save face or something like that.  I did not try to interfere.  What I thought would happen would be that she would get into a relationship with this "Alaska Guy" and then every Saturday night I would have to hear about her trials and tribulations of the relationship with the "Alaska Guy."  

Also at the same time another person, Terrie, in the "Saturday night" group was getting hot and heavy into a relationship and that relationship was becoming quite addictive.  Actually, around the time of  "Alaska Guy" it became addictive enough that Terrie was only making a meeting about once every other month or so.  There were four of us in the Saturday night group, Peter, Terrie, Carrie, and me.  Peter was coming maybe once a month around this time.  So by the summer of 2008 it was just Carrie and me going out afterwards.  The "Saturday night" after the meeting group was becoming less of a group.

It was in May of 2008 that it finally happened where both Peter and Terrie dropped out enough that it left only Carrie and I.  Terrie showed up for the meeting that evening and said she would be leaving half way through because she had some sort of  "spiritual stuff" to do.  I knew exactly what kind of "spiritual stuff" was going on.  To be honest, I think I really did give her the benefit of the doubt but she later came clean and validated my suspicions.  I mean come on!  We are in SLAA and she's getting more and more into this relationship.  Apparently the act of sex when practiced by more enlightened people is "spiritual."  It later turned out that Terrie basically gave up her soul for this "spiritual zen master" who in my opinion knew nothing of Zen.   Okay, I am digressing.  So I knew it was just Carrie and me and came to the realization that I would just go home after the meeting.  But right after Terrie announced she had to leave to go have se.  .  . uh I mean  for her Spiritual EXperience, Carrie asked if I still wanted to go out afterwards.  I said very disinterestedly,  "Yeah, sure I guess - didn't really have anything else going on."  I think I just said, "Okay."  I was kind of giddy.

We went out afterwards.  As we sat down the first words out of my mouth were, "Wow, this feels kind of like a date."  I had no idea what we would talk about and I sort of couldn't wait to get the whole thing over with for fear of the "long awkward silence."  I don't really remember what we talked about but must of managed to come up with something.  Because we found ourselves alone after the meeting a number of times after that.  In fact, we started calling each other in advance to see if the other would be there and available to go out afterwards.

One of the things we talked about was me doing the landscaping which I finally started around July of 2008. I remember going to the Landscape Connection to pick out rock to lay down.  I remember she got a trash bin out front that I raked up all the bark and wood chips that were laid down.  And finally I started spreading the ground cover and laying down the rock.  Which then led up to September 14th of 2008 when she asked if I wanted to be more than just friends.  After a lot of stammering and yammering I finally said, "The answer to that question would be yes."  We then consummated the newly proclaimed "coupledom" with a hug.  A kiss would come two weeks later on a trip to Jerome.

I left her house and went back to Kachina where I was living and told my roommate.  I couldn't believe what  had just happened. I took a shower and then drove back into town for the 6:00 pm meeting at the Quaker meeting house.  Just past the I-40 interchange I took the picture shown at the beginning of this post.  That is how our relationship started.

There is so much more to the story.