The only drama I have going on these days is the drama in my head:

It feels to me that this is what is going on with her and one day she will say this to me:

Do you want to know why I am not talking to you and don't return your texts.  Do you want to know why I really don't want you coming to see the kids and Why I absolutely don't want you staying at the house.  In fact, do you want to know why I never want to see you again.

I am getting better at letting go almost to where I was in 2007 and I think I could deliver the following response.  Although I am pretty sure it would not be "recovery approved"

No, I actually don't want to know.  I don't want to know any of that!  Really.  I could tell by your behavior something "was up."  And I was right!  I know the signals really well.  Because you haven't changed. . . . at all.  I knew there was something going on in your head, that you had concocted some belief based on a smattering of cherry picked evidence that fits the narrative of me being the "evil bastard"  No.  I don't want to know because it would be coming from a 14 year old and would be meaningless because what ever is going on in that little 14 year old brain of years is just a fantasy necessary to maintain the narrative.

I will think about what is going on with you from time to time and wonder, "Oh my G-d,  Is she thinking "this!?" or thinking "that!?"  I will actually be worried about it. This will happen at night and then I will usually find my way back to sleep.  In fact I've been doing EMDR work on it.  I have been able to let go of it.  Let the consequences happen as they should.

My behavior has not been stellar since Wendy passed.  My behavior with Wendy WAS stellar.  In fact, my behavior with you has also been absolutely stellar.  That thing back in May of last year was ALL you - one hundred percent.  And what's going on with you right now is ALL you.

Here's the thing, I go to meetings and work on myself - constant introspection!  What am I responsible for?  How did I contribute to this?  I even do that with this situation and I can come up with stuff.  Yes, I have amends to make on this but I am not going to this time because as you say you never want to see me again and believe me that is not a problem.  You on the other hand don't have any self awareness - none that I can see.  Have the words, "I'm sorry." ever passed through your fucking lips. . . .Yeah, I didn't think so.  I certainly never heard them.  You're just like your dad.

Here's the other thing,  You were afraid of being perceived as a super bitch.  I think you're pretty well beyond that.  When you said you didn't want "to get back together again."  Where the fuck did that come from?  As I thought about it after the conversation all I could think was, "You gotta be fucking kidding me."  Hopefully the following will put your mind at ease, provide you some peace:

I watched the love of my life, the most beautiful woman I ever laid eyes on, the sweetest person I have ever met die over a period of three years with the last six months of her lovely life being nothing but torture.  And the unkindest cut of all is that you are still breathing and walking this earth with impunity.  

If I ever find that you are enduring or have endured that same fate I will do an end zone dance complete with fist pumps.

So, no, I don't want to know why.  Just please do me a favor and go fuck yourself and by all means stay the fuck out of my life!