From the past - The greatest loss - really?

The greatest loss, really!?

Holly fucking fish face, that'll learn me.  There is no way I am going to say the loss of Wendy was/is the greatest loss in my life.  Because when the "Universe" hears this it says, "Game on motherfucker!"

Back to the Junk Yard

Not a very good title for a post, is it?

Anyway I continue to sort through this.  Back in 2011 was when it all became real for me.   I think earlier that year we had what will forever be known as the "Gas Incident"  That would have been on Feb 14 of 2011.  It could have been 2010 but I really think it was 2011. (must investigate)  Most likely 2011.   The kids came down in 2012.

That summer she was working at North Country in Winslow.  On her last day she sneezed real hard and broke one of her ribs.  I think it was around the end of July.  What was going on would become apparent on December 8th of 2011.  Hmmm, gas incident in Feb ending with cancer diagnosis in Dec. - kind of a sucky year.  I caught December 8th closer to the event in this entry.

So I guess it kind of started end of July?

So my brother-in-law just talked about a webcam that he uses to monitor his mom's home because his mom kind of needs to be watched.  I was interested in a webcam to watch the front of the garage because I can't see what is out there from the house.  I have to go to the garage and open up the garage door to see what is out there.  So I just went and looked up webcam. Not good, Not good for someone like me.

Just trying to think back to that time. At that time Wendy was my girlfriend.  I was still basically living at Alyson's. However, after December of 2011, I basically moved into her house.

The last entry in this blog was April 23 of this year 2015. This is when things started really getting serious regarding Wendy's illness.   She, I think, had just had her first thoracentesis.  It was before my kids were here.  Looking back at through my pictures it would have had to have been on April 12th.

Let's see. . .

Her mom's unveiling was on March 20th

Her mom died April 16th of 2014.

Wendy lived 1 year and 8 months longer than her mother.

Today is December 30, 2015.  Wendy died on December 6th.

I'm just trying to put together a time line here. I am also trying to go through the memories for some reason.  Why am I doing this?  I guess just for something to do?  Don't know.

The oxygen, came in a couple days later.  It would never leave until December 6th.

I think what I might be trying to do is re-live that time so that I can continue to be with her.  It is a way of not letting go. . . Why the fuck didn't I take more pictures!?  of her!

On May 7th she had her first Chemo treatment.  Up until this point, she was taking an oral form of Chemo-therapy called Xeloda (Zeloda)  She started this in December of 2014.  By February she was having serious problems with her skin on her hands but primarily on her feet.  She was getting really bad sores on the backs of her ankles (Achilles Tendon)  I am thinking she stopped the Xeloda near the end of February or beginning of March and was off of it for about a month.  She restarted it at a lower dose for two weeks when the oncologist said it was time to start "real" chemo-therapy.  So on May 7th we started abraxane a form of paclitaxel.  Wish I had been taking notes.

On the 10th of May none of the pictures I took indicate oxygen at home.  On the 16th of May, the day of Leo's and Amanda's wedding, the oxygen concentrator is shown in the living room.  And I do remember taking the bottles with us to the wedding but we did not take them in.  At least the pictures do not indicate this.

At this point we were still at the local oncology center.