Crazy

The next couple of posts are just fodder, some ramblings and some metaphorical fanatasy for some type of book that I might write.  Don’t laugh one day it will come out and I’ll make it into a monster, that is, if we all pull together as a team.  It starts out with me helpless in a cage.

Remember slot cars?  Remember how if they got going too fast they would fly off the track when they went around a curve.  Well, I am out on the wasteland known as the carpet upside down with my wheels spinning.  I need something to put me back on the track. Tonight was kind of a doozy.  I am not going to go into the details of it but it is bad and I spent $12 and something on this thing.  And this thing is not good.

I sit here in this cage
except I don’t sit.
I climb around the bars frantically
And then I settle on that thing
That thing I must not do.
But I do it.
But I need more than just that thing
I look toward the extreme
And then I head that direction
Putting one foot in front of the other
The motion is deliberate and smooth
I can’t turn my head away
My eyes don’t stare without blinking
They dry out and I don’t even notice
But now I am calm

Yeah, this is supposed to be a poem.  It is not very imaginative.  But ya know I am an engineer.  I am not sure if the dragons have flown away yet.  I don’t hear them.  I still like the dragon analogy.  Here we go!

The dragons came in tonight and they were furious.  They saw he was week and struck like lightning.  Awe Fuck! I can still hear them.  I need something for my constitution Ernie.  Ernie handed him the bottle and he slugged it down and then without missing a beat he went outside again.  He couldn’t help it.  He had to go outside and do battle.  The jitters went away or at least subsided. He watched them fly by.  “They’ll be back. I just hope not tonight!  Oh Mische, I am sorry! and then the words came out of his mouth without warning and without thought.

Weiter Gehen, Er sagt. Es tut mir so leid, Meine Liebste Mische!  Weiter Gehen!  His voice crashed though the air like thunder!

“Weiter Gehen.”

He looked back and she was gone.  He would never see her again.

Mische, If I was in fact your knight in shining armor, my armor wasn’t actually that shinny.  And you can see now that if you had stayed I would have not been able to fend off the dragons.  They were coming back for me and have arrived.  Perhaps you knew this. I hope you did and took care of yourself.  You knew the dragons would never leave though.  But you also knew I would fight.  So here I am. and you just watched yet another battle.

Both of us came from the land of the ice and the snow.  (Hey just like Led Zeppelin.)  You especially.  Remember how I told you I was a viking.  Well here ya go!  Except one thing about the vikings, they may have done their fair share of raping pillaging and plundering what ever the fuck that means but they also did their fare share of surviving.  Which is why I met you in September of 2004.  Turns out time happens instantaneously.  I am yours Mische.  I always was and I always will be.

He laid there on the rock as the waves washed over his naked and cut up body.  He looked toward the now empty sky where once the storm of dragons flew and said,

“Ich war es immer und ich werde es immer sein.  Du bist meine Prinzessin Mische! Du bist meine Prinzessin!“

He closed his eyes and lost consciousness but he was far from dead.

I will keep fighting them.  I am not going to give up.  I will lose battles for sure.  Just like I did tonight.  But I will continue to fight.  I will use what ever I can.  I will use crutches. I will cheat if necessary.  And I am sure I will die fighting.  And after I die I will see you again and the story will continue.  Don’t give up on me my princess.

Ernie watched from above.  All he could think was “You deluded fuck!”  Never-the-less he would help no matter what.

He woke the next day to see a blue sky.  The dragons came in to play as they often did.  Usually, being too tired he would lay there and just take it.  The dragons that came in in the morning were young.  He did not have the will to fight the young ones.  Fore once there was a time when he was one of them.

“Okay, so Ernie, I’m gonna need your help here.  Is there anyway you can give me a heads up on when they are coming in.”

The mighty breath of fire!  The power.  The seduction.  Those great wings.  The air they pushed away as they moved through.  The whoosh that left him breathless.  He loved them as soon as he saw them.  Although he had no wings, no scales, no eyes that could see forever, and a breath that produced just warm damp air he felt he was one of them.  He wanted so desperately to be one of them.  And they knew it.

The ice. The water. And, the fire.  The fire was warm.  This is really all he knew. At four years old he still couldn’t talk.  The elders of the village began to do just that – talk.  His father began to worry.  But he saw the fire.  He saw the smoke as it left the fire and realized that the smoke was just fire without the glow.  He continued to observe without a spoken word and the elders began to judge.  And his father began to act.

“You dumb shit!  You worthless bastard!”  he yelled at him.  In extreme frustration his father yelled at his mother saying, “Look at him just sitting there.  He’s a fucking idiot.”  And all he could do was sit on the stone terrified at his father.

Ah but Mortimus was watching.  “I think we have one.” he said to Claris.  (Pronounce Claudees) “Look at him.  His father is a fool!  This little one is far from an idiot.  He will ride us!  Can’t you see that, my dear Claris.  He will show us where to go.  He will show us where the heart is.  This young one will be mighty.  This young one will not only guide us but will worship us.  He will give us the key to destroy their world!”

But Claris could see this.  She could see even farther than Mortimus how valuable this little two legged creature without wings and without fire in his breath could and would be!

The winged serpents could see everything.  They could produce anything.  They could produce something that looked like “love”.  Oh, it wasn’t love but it sure did look like it.