The Sunday Night Girl

I actually did a search on this blog for "Sunday night girl"  Turns out I never used the phrase.  I used it but not in this blog.  I used it at the Saturday night meeting which we stopped in 2011.  I would talk about how attracted I was to Carrie in that meeting.

Anyway, I don't believe I have seen her in well over a year at the Sunday night meeting and she showed up tonight.  How 'bout dat.

I was looking forward to seeing Nicole and as I am walking in I here someone call my name and it is Carrie. We were at the grocery store, Bashas, one day and Wendy and I ran into her and her boy.  It was nice.  I had come a long way since then.  Now, however, I am vulnerable once again.  Okay, she is a little heavier but is still pretty. And I still feel a little bit of that electric charge.  Yeah, it's just a little bit.  It would be nice to see her at the meeting but she probably won't be back for another year or so which is okay.  Still thinking of Marcia.

By the way, every time I mention the restorative yoga to people, they say, "Yes, that would be excellent for you."  Even my friend Larry who I see every Sunday morning said I should go.  (Sort of a Sponcee kind of thing)  So I am getting the message from the universe that restorative yoga is something to do.  Kind of the green light to go to restorative yoga with Marcia.

Talked to Ronda tonight.  She said she is thinking about me a lot. Hmmm. She is in a relationship.  You know what I want and of course, this is only with certain women - certain women that are not in relationships - that are unattached.   I want them to be thinking about me - a lot.  I want them to be thinking about me as in I would like to get to know Floyd better.  Maybe he and I could have coffee or I could cook him dinner or . . . . The circus is in town. Que the music . . . .

I have been going for my own little personal record on the TCB charts (Taking Care of Business)  Took care of business 5 times today.  So yes I am having problems today.

What all this tells me is that I have done a pretty good job of avoiding the pain today actually.  I think in the other blog I may have said the exact opposite which is a fucking lie.

I fail to accept that she is not coming back to this house.  I failed to accept it today.

I failed. . 

I failed

I failed

I failed

I failed