RE: letter and finances

R-

Thank you for the update on the finances and yes, I have had to finagle the finances because the mortgage payment is so large. It wipes out, as you well know, one of my paychecks. This is part of the reasoning behind cutting my cash payments to you except for on an as need basis. I will take care of signing the tax return checks immediately and send them back to you express mail. As soon as I receive the payment form BCBS, I will send it to you express mail as well. (We are up to date on Auto and home insurance, I hope what ever Ken wants to talk about is just sales stuff.)

My understanding is you will be notifying me through legal council of your intent for divorce sometime within the next month from last Friday. I do need to talk about a major financial concern at this time. I need to relate my fear about where the money comes from to pay each of our attorneys' fees. The following is what I am looking at and how I see it. It should be evident I am looking at the situation through the "fear filter." I do not want to incite any anger in you and I believe relative to with what we have to deal regarding emotions, this discussion may be too early never-the-less it is necessary. Based on what I am looking at and how I am looking at it, I will being taking some actions within the next week that may or may not be warranted. I hope you can help me with this.

With the sale of your mom's house or eminent sale of your mom's house, it appears you will have the money to get an attorney, however, my resources are much more limited, I need to protect and take care of myself as well. I hope you can appreciate my reluctance to continue any further cash support at this time. From my perspective my resources for the divorce and reliable transportation will come from a 200% loan I am preparing to take out. With the information I have at this point and the understanding of your intention for a divorce, I believe this fear is valid and my actions regarding the loan and cash support termination warranted. I am really hoping you can give me information that will assuage my fears on this issue. If these fears can not be mitigated, then, until we have a settlement, I will only pay obligations for which I am legally bound.

The less business side of the letter:

R-, I beg of you to understand that I am really trying to communicate with you without emotional enmeshment. I am so totally not trying to manipulate you into doing anything. I am now fearful of you coming back and saying something like, "For your information, the sale of my mom's house is none of your business and what I do with that money is none of your concern etc. etc. etc.!!!!!" Please understand, I really believe my ultimate motive is to convey to you what I believe I need to do to prepare myself for this divorce so that you may be able to correct me where needed. I am hiding nothing from you especially my concerns. In fact, I am telling you all this so that I truly do not do something stupid or harmful to what ever is left of our relationship.

In the absence of any other information and/or until we arrive at our divorce settlement, my intentions are;

1.) Pay the mortgage, (right now - today).
2.) Continue all other financial obligations I have committed to as listed below.
Mortgage payment
Auto insurance payment
Health Insurance
Car Insurance
Medical Payments.

You should have a check for $billion that I sent a couple of weeks ago. This would be my last installment of cash support. If you have not recieved this check please let me know as soon as possible. I will get another one to you right away. In any event I will not be sending any money for the month of May. I will be traveling extensively toward the end of May and through June and simply will not have the money.

I look forward to your letter. (I think)

A-