That morning, as he set out, there was a light mist and it was a bit foggy. Through the fog he could see the outline of a person. Right away he recognized that it was her. It looked like they would be heading in the same direction again today. He was happy about that. She didn't seem to mind either.
It occurred to him on this grey morning that he no longer knew where he was going. He no longer had a destination. Out of the several destinations he thought he might go to, he had come to understand that none of them existed any more. They had all been destroyed in the flood.
She on the other hand seemed to be heading somewhere. He couldn’t figure out where and she wouldn’t tell. In fact, he wasn't sure that she was sure she knew where she was going. One thing seemed clear was that she didn't like where she was. He was careful not to pry. That was her business. All he knew is that the conversation was pleasant and the road didn’t seem so lonely on this cold and damp day.
As he thought about her situation he realized that that is what had started him on his journey; He didn't like where he was. Once again, he only knew that something wasn't quite right. He knew if he had continued in that same direction whatever disaster awaited him would be much worse than anything that might happen if he decided to leave that trail. So he left. That was a long time ago.
It actually took him a long time to leave. He kept going back. Everytime he would re-join the main party, he invariably ended up pissing and moaning about how they were heading in the wrong direction until they finally kicked him out of the group.
One day after making another attempt to leave, he went to where he thought they should be but no one was there. He ran up the path a couple of miles; didn't see a soul. He ran back the other way, still no one. He tried to return several times thereafter but everytime there was no one to be found. Either they had taken a different way or they were all hiding from him. He suspected a little of both. He understood though; Even he was getting sick of his own bitching and complaining.
Finally, after he realized what had happened he set out in the direction that seemed the clearest. Unfortunately, even the direction that seemed to be the way was quite rough and actually not that clear. As he traveled farther down the road he began to meet people heading the same direction. Every person that he began traveling down the road with had one thing in common; they didn't know where they were going.
Also, as he got farther down the road, the signs along the way began to diminish, the ones that were there were broken and sometimes they seemed to point in the wrong direction. He would come across many people that were crossing his path. In fact several times they would accompany him for a while and then they would have to take the other fork in the road. All of these people seemed so prepared with the latest navigational equipment like GPS functional cell phones, the latest maps, Goretex jackets, waterproof hiking boots, the best back packs, etc. etc. etc.. All he had was this stupid blue book that described the way and was written by, as the lore went, a couple of guys that were the first ones to take the trip. They documented the trip very carefully in the blue book.
He wondered if this was the way to be going, why was it so poorly marked? The road wasn't even a road for God's sake. I mean, you could see remenants of where a road had been which offered a comforting clue that you weren't as lost as you thought you were. But most of the way you had to push away the rock, cut through the brush, and clear away the wreckage from previous adventures. He realized why this was so; Not too many people went this way.
He didn't know how long they would accompany each other down the path but she was the first new person he'd seen in about six months.
He was happy there was a new face and some new conversation. And so they headed down the winding wet dirt road talking to each other while the mist soaked through their cloths on that grey damp Wednesday morning
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
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2 comments:
They're intense I know. Just the sense of their presence can create and bring to surface so many feelings. One more try, one more smell, one more time to hear their voice and touch their skin. It seems it would take away all the chaos inside. You're sure it will.
I loved this post.
you added to it!
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